So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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