Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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