Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize