You smell like stripper and shame
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
