Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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