lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so let's talk penis.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
