Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
