I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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