End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
