so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
