she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
