Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
