i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
