thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
