Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
