I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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