thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she told me i tasted like america
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
