the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
