Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
