You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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