Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
where does the pee come out of this thing
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
