amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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