i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
