the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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