Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
