Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
