Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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