I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
