Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
