I should be sponsored by Trojan
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
