he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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