soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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