You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i came on her dog
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's shark week go big or go home
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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