Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
