I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
