well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
