I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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