The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
