I want to stick my p in your. b.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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