honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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