I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
