You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
