i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
