So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
