I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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