Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
