i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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