Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
All the doctor said was why
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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