Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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