why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
