And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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