I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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