So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
