It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
