I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
