Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
