Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
