She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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