mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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