i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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