I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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