i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
