please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
