she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
