Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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