I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ambien. No doubt about it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
