So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
