There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
