I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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