These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
