Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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