Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
