Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
