Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize