can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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